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Today Wayne Turmel talks to Ken Eisold about his book,  “What You Don’t Know You Know-Our Hidden Motives in Life, Business and Everything Else”. We also look at the Roman poet Horace and complain about pretty much everything. Another typical Cranky Middle Manager Show.

Dr. Ken Eisold takes us on another brain-geek adventure into why people don’t do what we tell them to.

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Then help avoid trouble by signing up for “How to Create and Manage Remote Teams” February 22nd or March 22nd

Show Notes

0:00 Welcome to the show everyone. Ever wonder why problems don’t magically solve themselves? Well we dedicate this show to Horace and the whole concept of the Deus Ex Machina … “God in the Machine” which is a lousy plot device (see the last 2o minutes of The Abyss if you don’t believe me) and makes no sense. The answer usually lies in the mind of the people we’re dealing with- hence our talk with a shrink today.

3:21 The quote of the week is also from Horace- adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which in prosperous circumstances would otherwise lay dormant. Cool thing to think about when adversity makes you want to freak out.

4:45 Welcome Dr Ken Eisold. What is the uncosncious and why should managers care about it? The answer to the question “what were you thinking” is more complicated than you think.

9:30 Remember that you (and they) are paying for the sins of whoever managed them before you got there. Don’t assume they work under the same assumptions you do. The way people think is not governed by rationality but by habit and past experience.

11:51 When we get data we often don’t process it, we just see how well it fits our mental picture of the world.

15:25 You have to check your assumptions. Married people know better than to take “fine” as an acceptable answer.

19:22 Three important concepts: Persona, Role and Identity. Everyone plays all 3…. it helps explain why we torture ourselves. I also get some free therapy, which is one of the perks of this show.

24:10 Guess what, not only do we have our own drama going on, but so does each person we work with. Do you understand their persona, role, etc? You have to work at questioning and understanding what they really think about what you’ve just told them.

27:30 Here’s a take-away: don’t take it personally. Resistance frequently has nothing to do with us personally…although EVERYTHING is about me personally, but that’s my drama to work with.

Ken’s Resources

Check out his blog
>

 

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Today Wayne Turmel talks to Penny Tomkins and James Lawley about using “Clean Language”. Do people understand what you’re talking about? Can you really understand them when they tell you something? The psychology of metaphors is today’s topic. Also we look at a Russian general and I get to show off that I’ve read War and Peace. Just another day in the salt mines here at the Cranky Middle Manager Show.

James Lawley and Penny Tomkins are all about using “clean language”. They were recommended by friend of the show Bob Selden (hear his Cranky interview here).

For a FREE copy of “3 Reasons Virtual Teams Fail- and How to See It Coming” click here

Don’t forget our “How to Create and Manage Remote Teams” webinar workshops

For more information and to register click on February 22nd or March 22nd

Show Notes

0:00 Welcome to the show all you Middle Managers and Steeler’s Wheel fans. Today we are talking about the psychology of management communication and so we dedicate this episode to Prince Pyotr Ivanovitch Bagration, one of the heros of Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Are you inspiring your team in the midst of chaos?

3:53 It seems only right that we quote Leo Tolstoy today, who knew a thing or two about human psychology even though he was mad as a hatter himself.  Is your truth like gold?

4:32 Welcome to the first of a couple of shows focusing on the psychology of communication. Yes, more brain geekiness but that’s part of our charm here. Welcome Penny and James, authors of Metaphors in Mind: Transformation Through Symbolic Modelling . There’s actual real world value here, don’t let the title fool you.

7:32 Why is Clean Language such an important concept for managers? If people don’t understand you and vice versa all kinds of havoc erupts. Clean Language is a way of asking questions to avoid misunderstanding and making assumptions.

9:45 What part do metaphors play in the way we speak to each other.  Research shows we use about 6 a minute… which works great if we all work from the same metaphor playbook- there’s another metaphor. Metaphors can be overt or more subtle.

13:22 Language is the constraint we have to work with, so what’s the problem? We don’t all interpret metaphors the same way. Rather than make assumptions- challenge them and ask questions.

17:55 The Psychological background of this is the work of David Grove and was used as a therapeutic technique. What kind of language and metaphors do you use? Military? Sports? Political? It’s not easy to get used to changing your language as I stupidly demonstrate during this conversation.  Also I dare you to find another business podcast that uses the word “etymology”.

21:40 As we work in languages other than English, what madness does metaphor cause? It’s important that we think about metaphors people use…  we discuss skinned teeth and hairy ears. Trust me, it’s relevant.

23:47 Bob Selden will be leading a workshop on Clean Language February 16th. Click here for more details.

25:30 check out their website at www.cleanlanguage.co.uk. There is lots of great information there including questions to ask. Among the best questions is:

• “and is there anything else?”
• “and what kind of _____ are you talking about”
• “and then what happened?”

This is not just active listening or paraphrasing. The purpose is not to demonstrate understanding but to help people understand themselves. Oh, and Star Trek is a teaching point on this. How’s THAT for geeky?

Resources and books

Look up Cognitive Linguistics for more…

 

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Today Wayne Turmel talks to the Generations Relations expert, Lisa Orrell about the Millennials- not the usual stuff about how hard they are to work with and they won’t pull their noses out of Facebook long enough to do real work. No, we’re talking about turning them into the leaders and managers of tomorrow. Be afraid, be very afraid Also we talk about Henry the 6th, and get child rearing advice from  Nietzsche.

Check out our White Paper: 3 Reasons Virtual Teams Fail-And How to See it Coming

Don’t forget our next “How to Create and Manage Remote Teams” workshop on February 22nd. Click here to learn more and to register. If you have new managers this would be a good piece of training to help them out.

Drop me a line to ask about discounts for Cranky listeners.

Show Notes

0:00 Welcome to the show, gang. Today we’re talking about those darned kids again, but it’s not how they work or who they are….it’s too late for that. We need them and they are going to be the leaders of tomorrow…. which is rapidly approaching since I’m feeling my mortality of late. The President of the US is younger than I am…. I’m officially out of excuses. And we have to mentor and teach them to lead or they might wind up like this week’s dedicatee King Henry the 6th of England. Take over too early without training and mentoring and it can get ugly.

4:44 The quote of the week is from someone with great parenting advice, although probably not the first person you’d think of…. Friedrich Nietzsche

5:40 Welcome Lisa Orrell, author of “Millennials Into Leadership”. This is not another show about how they want to start at the top, but some day we’ll get there and you can help. First we have to define the term, and it turns out I own one. They’re born between 1980 and 2000.

10:40 I look at my daughter and am really impressed by her energy and leadership skills. Their problem is they are too work-oriented and don’t have much use for timetables. They are loyal to people who actually earn it and are loyal to the work, not the company. If it doesn’t matter they won’t stay.

14:30 Virtual teams aren’t unusual for this group. Facebook is great training in a strange way. Allowing them to have the technology is the next step. By the way, the people surfing porn at work are NOT 22 years old….

17:00 A lot of young workers are getting promoted before they’re ready, so what challenges do they face?  A lack of training is a huge problem- and unlike Gen X, these kids want training….. if it’s relevant. The biggest challenge is that they are immature… no kidding. Communication skills are key.

22:00 One of the big things to consider is their personal “leadership brand”. What do you want people to think and say about you? How do you stand out as a leader? It’s made up of your Communication style, Philosophy, Social style,Intellectual style, Emotional style and Ethical style. You can read a blog post about it here

26:15 Who do millenials turn to for leadership examples? Turns out it’s you and me (if we do it right). They also aspire to those who change the world.

31:00 Unlike those of us who hide from our bosses and want to be left alone, Millennials can’t communicate enough which drives some managers crazy

Lisa’s Resources

The Personal Branding Blog

Millennial Marketing

 

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Today Wayne Turmel talks to David Noer, author of “Healing the Wounds-Overcoming the Trauma of Layoffs and Revitalizing Downsized Organizations”. We also talk about the guy who had to handle a reduction in force during the Crusades and  a quote from Rudyard Kipling.  Join us…. it ain’t boring.

David Noer, author of “Healing the Wounds”

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Join us February 22nd for our How to Create and Manage Remote Teams Webinar Workshop. Drop us a line for more information and discounts.

Show Notes

0:00 Welcome to the show. Pretty much all of us have been expected to manage a layoff, and come out the other side still getting work done. It’s not easy on our people or on us. We dedicate this show to  Balian of Ibelin, who knew a thing or two about trying to work after your team has been gutted…. in his case literally.

4:00 The quote of the week is from one of  my favorite but politically incorrect writers, Rudyard Kipling. Overwork has killed many people stronger than us. Take care of yourself my people……

4:50 Welcome David Noer to the show. One good thing about being the victim of a downsizing is you don’t have to manage people through it.  Middle managers are at risk if your social and emotional well being is tied to your job, you’re at risk.  Leadership makes a different, especially over distance.

6:50 Middle managers are particularly vulnerable because they are both laying people off and at risk themselves. Before you try to deal with your employees, get yourself together and handle your own emotions. David also suggests you break a couple of rules if only to save your sanity.

10:00 Why do companies so seldom get downsizing right? Do they let too many people go? Are they the right people? Proper or not, you’re the one stuck dealing with it. Layoffs never meet their financial goals because they don’t factor in survivor guilt and lost productivity.

12:15 How do you get your team back on track? Acknowledge the emotions and don’t try to just push through it. Being lucky to still have a job is not sufficient motivation for most humans. It’s okay to be lean, but mean is just unnecessary. The good news is if you focus on the customer and how to be efficient, you’ll find a lot of what was being done was useless to start with.

15:18 Companies whine about a lack of engagement, then do everything to get people disengaged. The contract has changed. Managers need to take responsibility for their own careers, learning and psychological well-being. We’re all temps, we just don’t all admit it.

19:00 How do you balance taking care of yourself with giving a fair effort to your employer? “Cautious loyalty” is the solution. And if you thought Gen X and the millenials had this figured out, don’t believe it. They’re getting sucked in too.

22:00 Even if you are employed, you need to act like an entrepeneur…. and that’s hard for a lot of people. Newer economies seem to get this better than we do.

David’s Resources