15 Responses to “The Cranky Middle Manager #23 Beating Bullies at Work”

1. 

   David 19 November 2005 at 6:53 pm #

   Brilliant show – described precisely what I’ve been through recently at work. I lost the position I had, but stayed at the company. Fortunately, the bully involved was moved to another part of the company. Something needs to be done to stop people like this – our HR department was ineffective and almost indifferent.
2. 

   Anthony 4 December 2005 at 7:24 pm #

   Appalled by this show. The “expert” stooped to the same level as workplace bullies, often calling them names and ridiculing them. The “expert” did not offer many practical startegis for people suffering in the workplace. If his strategies to resolve workplace bullying were anything like the approach he presented during this interview, I would be very concerned.
3. 

   Nora MacNAmara 4 December 2005 at 10:45 pm #

   Please press on with this battle..One year ago I quit a job where I was bullied by the manager and supervisor…..of course it caught fire with my peers…I went into depression and was suicidal and had a plan to kill myself….my husband told me to keep facing what I was a fraid of…so I did finally confront them…..one started to cry and the manager just hopped from one foot to another but…neither apologized……I left the job…both were promoted and given raises……It has taken me about 3 years to catch on and recover ..especailly my mental health…It is very hard on my mind…couldn’t believe that people could be so evil.jealous and ugly ..especailly women….what was the most hepful was the book WORK ABUSE …and your website which I check regularly…
4. 

   Wayne 4 December 2005 at 11:39 pm #

   This dialogue is exactly what I WANT to have happen on this show. Anthony, thanks for your comments. I think (although Gary can speak for himself) the idea is to beat bullies by standing up to them- seldom a pretty process. I also don’t think there’s only one way to do it, and I’d love to hear more from you on what YOU’d do.

   Nora, hang in there I’m glad people can even find this little show helpful. Keep the dialgue coming people.
5. 

   Reva Leonard 6 December 2005 at 8:53 am #

   I’ve been the target of three bullies in the past 15 years. In the first case, I was diagnosed with PTSD and spent a year in therapy. I also developed fibromyalgia and experienced the onset of diabetes. While genetics predisposed me to IDDM, it was determined that the stress in the workplace actually caused it to become full-blown. I was off work on medical leave for a year. In the second case, my Dr. had been suggesting for over a year that I take time off to get my health under control. My loyalty and dedication to my staff (which also makes me a great target!) kept me there until my Dr. finally suggested that I was risking my life. In October, 2005, I left my dream job “voluntarily” because of another bully. I find the suggestion that I voluntarily quit, leaving me with no income, no health insurance, depression, and again facing months of recovery, ludicrous. What do I tell my next prospective employer when asked why I left my job? If I’m honest, I’m not going to get a second look.

   The first two bullies were women, the most recent was a man. I’ve learned that targets share several characteristics that can contribute to our being targeted, which is why the experience tends to repeat itself. I not only encourage you to continue to shine light on this issue, but am willing to do anything I can to help. I’ve seen enough personal devastation, not to mention the affects on productivity and profit. When will enough be enough?
6. 

   nancy casella 9 December 2005 at 7:45 am #

   I am writing my doctoral dissertation on this very topic after sufferring from harrassment for over seven years time.
7. 

   Susan Short 17 January 2006 at 11:03 pm #

   I am facing an unemployment hearing tomorrow. I recently quit a job I loved and needed due to being bullied. I can’t afford an attorney and any potential witnesses are too scared to testify due to fear of retaliation. This is a faith-based, social service angency I am talking about! My Doctor has put me on anti-depressants and my stomach is in an untiable knot. I can’t express the encouragement I got from this site just knowing that I’m not alone and not crazy.
8. 

   Thomas(Tomas) Gonzalez 14 February 2006 at 3:31 am #

   I recently left a job where there were signs of bullying but did not know until after I left and began researching the issue for a grant study that I am presently involved in. The bully continues to run rampant wanting to control everything and everyone in sight. interesting how she maintains her status and her reign of terror goes unchecked.
9. 

   John Cramer 20 February 2006 at 11:27 pm #

   I had a boss from hell, everyday my stomache would churn just knowing that I had to wait in his office sometimes for 45 minutes was torture. He discriminated against me by treating me to a diffrent standard than other similar situated employees. When he demoted me, every other worker had a permanent post, even ones with less seniority than me. It is easier to work a permanent post because you get used to working one assignment and you become familiar with all aspects of the position. I filed and received stipulations of settlement with the E.E.O.C. and P.E.R.B. agaencies, who decide wrong doing by employers. Currently I am in the U.S. District Court, Kings County, N.Y. and I am attempting to right a wrong. It is a hard thing to complain and find out your employer does not care, or in my case even do a investigation.
10. 

    Robert Mueller 13 June 2006 at 7:00 am #

    For the perspective of a workplace organizer and attorney (in addition to that of your quoted therapists), please see “Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide.”

    It details exactly the steps employees and employers can take to resolve bullying politically – both to protect and to prevent. This new offering is operationally-based and thus significantly more hopeful. http://www.bullyingbosses.com
11. 

    Robert Mueller 10 July 2006 at 4:05 am #

    Above, people are basically asking: “What do we do when faced with a Bully?” I recast that question just a bit: “What exactly differentiates the Target of a Bullying Boss from a Workplace Warrior?”

    To my mind, a Target sees their relationship with their Bully in personal terms, and takes their Bully’s challenges and attacks personally. And that hurts. It’s a state of constant vulnerability. The Workplace Warrior places him or herself tactically apart, and strategically above the abuser and abuse.

    A Target is entirely focused on their Bully and the bullying – trying to “understand” the Bully who defies understanding, trying to make their “relationship” work amicably and productively. The Warrior remains attentive to the Bully, but looks in every other direction for support and information, canvasses coworkers for their own concerns, reaches out to personal friends and family, and also seeks advice and help from political, medical and legal supporters.

    A Workplace Warrior is a former Target who, on line and in the library, researches their own Bully and bullying in general; takes a breath to look into the Bullies eyes; then directly sees for themselves that there is nothing personal about their Bully. They are calculating predators – not ever friends or producers either.

    A Target responds to seemingly spontaneous bullying challenges as they come up; hoping all the time they won’t happen again any time soon. A Warrior makes and proceeds by way of a Strategic Plan; taking responsibility for events; taking action in their own timing.

    The big difference is plain to see: Bully Targets are miserable 24/7 while Workplace Warriors are clear, strong and maybe just a bit spry.

    Robert Mueller
    Bullying Boss Counselor

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