The Cranky Middle Manager Show #316 The Final Cranky Show and the Future of Work with John Blackwell
The Cranky Middle Manger Show #25- Worst Managers on the Planet and Mind Tools
Posted on 02. Dec, 2005 by Wayne in Podcast
The Cranky Middle Manager Show #025
On this show we announce two winners of our Worst Manager on the Planet Contest as well as interview James Manktelow of Mind Tools.com…. it’s a long show this week but I think you’ll have some fun with it.
0:00 Welcome to a great show. We have the Quote of the Week, and interviews with two of our winners in the first ever “Worst Manager on the Planet Contest”.
2:00 Our Worst Manager on the Planet Contest. Pat Williams is from Longbranch, New Jersey. What is it about New Jersey and crummy bosses? Anyway, he sent in this entry:
Ok, so he was no Attilla, but “Bill” was the worst boss I’d ever seen. Our beloved Director of HR at Saint Elsewhere Medical Center had moved on and the Executive Search firm of “Sleazy, Robbum and Run” delivered “Bill” to our doorstep. I didnt know if had come to run our HR Department, or to sell used cars to the staff – either appeared as likely.
As most new bosses will do, “Bill” decided that we needed to revise a few policies…. ALL of them in fact. To facilitate this, he didnt work through the current policies and help us understand what should change. He instead handed over the ENTIRE HR policy manual from St. Hellhole Medical Center – we could just barely make out the logo under the 3 coats of whiteout this moron had used to disguise the documents as his own intellectual property.
During his tenure, “Bill” came up with a number of gems along the way… among his more shinging examples were:
- Taking a two week vacation which oddly coincided with the much anticipated and dreaded move of our department, and all 2,000 employee files to a new building. This was capped by his “generous” provision of lunch for us each day of the move – we had to pay of course, but we got “his” discount from the deli!
- During the BIG inspection that all hospitals go through, “Bill” decided that our HR staff should go through a leadership training exercise that included a two hour video on the leadership secrets of Sitting Bull! Ah yes, I can still recall the snickers of “Ta-Tonka” from out team as we burned the midnight oil making up for the hours lost on that little adventure!
- He was so supportive of his team while they worked on a major proposal for the company (in “supportive” I mean “contributed through his absence”), but made sure that when the proposal was presented to the CEO that he thanked all the people who provided the input to help him get this done.
As with all really poor bosses, karma caught up with “Bill”; he got an offer from St. Broken Heart to be their VP of HR….. so good to see the Peter Principle in operation.
Ok, so he didnt rape or pillage (not literally anyway), but he did loot the joint; we saw him lugging all of our HR Policy manuals out to his car on his last day. Coincidentally, we couldnt find a drop of whiteout in the office after that!
By the way, check out Pat’s blog at www.guerillahr.blogspot.com
Pat wins a copy of Active Words, Downloads from Magnatunes and a copy of my book, “A Philistine’s Journal, an Average Guy Tackles the Classics”.
8:36 Our big winner is Lorraine Lazzar of Sydney, Australia.. Here’s a short but sweet synopsis in her own words….
I use to work for a fascia and guttering company and the manger was Andrew A. I was the only female to 40+ men.
This man would come into the office each morning and say to staff either “good morning dickhead†or “have you been told today†(meaning-have you been told you’re an idiot today).
This business was in a series of demountable buildings and didn’t have toilet plumbing so they used portaloos and although they needed to be empty every 2 weeks – he ordered that the could not be empty for a minimum of 4 weeks because it saved him money but the smell was horrendous! (I by the way would go to the local McDonalds).
He was abusive to everyone and I only lasted a few months at this place and now 10+ years later I wonder why I even bothered to last that long!
Lorraine won not only all the prizes mentioned above, but the grand prize of Mind Manager 6 Software worth almost $800. Congratulations, or I’m sorry…. or whatever the correct response is for surviving this idiot.
Thanks for participating and a huge thanks to all our Sponsors. We can only assume your place in heaven is preserved and that you are all wonderful managers.
Thanks to my direct reports for not nominating me.
17:21 We finish up with an interview with James Manktelow who runs a great website called Mindtools.com. For those who love to learn, it’s full of very cool free stuff.
26:30 We look in depth at some tools on Practical Creativity….
36:00 Take a look at these other resources…
Better Management.com
American Management Association
Don’t let even the worst weasels get you down…..
Worst Manager on the Planet- 3RD PRIZE
Posted on 02. Dec, 2005 by Wayne in General
Folks, our Third Prize Winner in the Worst Manager on the Planet Contest is Chris M____ of New Jersey in the US of A. Why was this guy the worst manager? Well, doing hard time is a sign you’ve done something wrong.
Here it is in his own words….
So here’s the deal. In my early twenties, I performed some side work for this investor . He paid very well, and had some neat projects that needed I could do part time. I wrote programs for him, maintained his machines, etc. etc… Then, 2 years or so later, he explained that he was starting a venture capital company and needed a CIO. I had absolutely 0 experience in management, finance, etc. etc., but I was young and eager to climb up the corporate ladder, and thought this was an awesome move. I could learn alot. I was also offered double the salary I was making at the time! It’s hard to turn that down.
So, I took his offer. I had no clue. And yeah, it was great for awhile. Great money, learned some new stuff about investing and business that I didn’t know before. But, soon I learned that we weren’t going to be hiring anyone else (there were a few of us). I found myself doing a lot of unusual work for him. Not work I’d envisioned a CIO would do, like: drive him to strip joints, pick him up from a bar when he was drunk, helping out one of his peers (who owned a different company) do some data entry (!unbelievable! But I got them to pay me extra to do that – so I stayed), etc. etc… Still, the money was real good.
Then I started learning more about the guy. My opinion of him was lessening. He was becoming scum to me. He had a beautiful wife and children, but he’d rarely spend time with them. He spent alot of the time at strip joints during the day (yes workday), evenings, etc… He started to bring strippers to work. They’d just hang out in their skimpy clothes (I guess that wasn’t a bad sight) and then go out with him somewhere else a little later. But nothing special that you might be fantasizing about. =) His wife found out about this down the road and I caught the whole episode first hand.
Then, he began to leave the office more often – “making some deals” as he would say. But, I didn’t see any evidence of many major deals or financial backing, etc. etc… I heard him taking lots of calls from lawyers. Ever since I knew him he had lawyers for this or that. I thought it was just part of being a rich investor or something. But he was taking more and more calls privately as well, so it sort of raised my suspicion a bit.
Then I found out that he was going to court for something. Then the whopper – my paycheck bounced. “It must’ve been a mistake. Don’t worry about it – I’ll get you something quick.” But then it happened with the next paycheck. The next. I was in big trouble financially soon because I had increased my spending. And then I found out, I forget how, that he was going to court because he was the defendant in a case involving his fraudulent activities in a fund he created before I knew him. He was going to jail in a few months and the company would come to an end. Great. I was shocked, but should’ve known something was up. The scum signs were probably there. So, I bailed.
What I learned:
- Be a skeptic about things that appear too good to be true.
- Don’t jump into stuff just because of the money.
- Do more research.
- Don’t be quick to trust people you only know a little. Or don’t trust them just because they are giving you lots of money.
- Don’t screw around on your wife. It messes with the family unit. You screw your whole family.
- Something is seriously wrong when your paycheck bounces. duh.
Some good stuff I learned:
- Surround yourself by smart people.
- Learned a bit about delegation and management basics. Before this guy, I was a techie with no management experience.
- While he was a jerk, he had some clear leadship qualities.
- Learned a bit about running a business
- Learned a bit about how not to run a business
- Learned a bit about finance an investing
- Learned how to write business plans
- Learned how to carry yourself and present yourself
What can I pass on to others? It’s fairly simple – just be observant and try to make connections. Oh and don’t be fraudulent, take your company down with you, go to jail, screw your employees, and everyone else around you.
Chris receives a Podcast Network T Shirt, a copy of my book, “A Philistine’s Journal, an Average Guy Tackles the Classics”. He also receives free downloads from Magnatunes.
The first and second place winners will be announced tomorrow and will be interviewed on the Cranky Middle Manager Show so you can hear them tell their stories themselves….
Worst Manger on the Planet- Dis-Honorable Mention
Posted on 02. Dec, 2005 by Wayne in General
Hey gang, this came in too late to win prizes in our contest, but it’s definitely a classic. It’s from Michael Shaffer of Dallas, TX……
Wayne…
I had a boss who called a meeting of his department and fired everyone who
showed up. He said if they had time to show up for the meeting they
obviously weren’t busy enough. I was not at that meeting.
Not sure if you need the actual company information, though. Let me know and
I’ll give you Company and name of the Manager.
Michael…….HELL NO! We don’t need lawyers after us, although if you want to tell me I promise not to tell a soul!!!! Thanks for sharing your tale of woe, Michael.
Stay tuned, the 3 prize winner(s) will be announced in the next 24 hours!!!!