I am not one to succumb to chain letters, pass on goofy emails or respond to Christmas brag letters. Just ain’t my style. Still I’ve been holding my breath because there’s a trend afoot in the blogosphere towards playing “Tag”. Someone posts about 5 things their audience probably didn’t know about them, then reaches out to five other people to respond and encourage them to post and reach out to five more people… it’s a blog link version of a Ponzi scheme, essentially.

Some of the postings have been funny, some poignant, and more than a few in that murky area in between that reeks more of embarassing admission than art.

I was prepared to just close my eyes and hope it went away, but no…. I’ve been tagged by Rosa Say. Now, Rosa being Rosa, I can’t refuse. The darned woman is cynicism proof and it would just be mean and churlish to refuse. So, against my better judgement here it goes…

Things CMM Listeners Don’t Know About Me…

1) The Duchess ( my bride) is not the first Mrs. Cranky. That dubious honor goes to a lady in Canada. Yes, i was married before, and to a cop no less. The marriage didn’t last long- a fact i’m not proud of. The first anniversary they say is the “paper anniversary”. Appropriately, I got a summons.  I’m not bitter- we parted ways, she got custody of Canada, I moved to the US and here I am today. Two things I did learn about being married to a female police officer:

• Never use regulation hand cuffs
• Never trust a woman with a pet name for her billy club

2) In 1994 I fulfilled a lifelong nerd’s dream by appearing on the game show Jeopardy. Halfway through double Jeopardy I was in the lead. My money total at the end- $0.00. To this day I can’t hear the name Rachel Carson without breaking into a rash.

3) I am a male of average height, slightly above average weight…. and horrifyingly small feet.  My parents may have tied them off when I was little in hopes of marrying me to someone rich, I don’t know. I dread visiting people in the winter in case I have to take my shoes off at the door and leave them in a pile with the other shoes. Someone’s 12 year old daughter will inevitably shriek “Whose are these, i can fit into them”? In  what I’m sure is a completely unrelated factoid, I have never been hit on by a woman whose house I’ve visited in the winter time.

4) My first name is Warren. Wayne is my middle name and to this day I can’t get a satisfying answer as to why I have been a Wayne my whole life. Only customs agents and police officers call me Warren. I have noticed, however, that there has not been a boy named Wayne since 1973. I considered naming my first born Wayne, but she would have been teased mercilessly and I relented.

5) There are only 3 movies a  red-blooded North American man can cry at without his manhood being questioned: Old Yeller, Brian’s Song and Field of Dreams. Look it up. It’s a fact. The list of country songs a man can cry at numbers in the hundreds and expands exponentially with each shot of tequila.

Okay, so now I tag the following people:  Patrick Williams, Katy Whitton, Quiller, Dr. Ellen Webber and Cameron Reilly.  My social obligation is complete.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 13th, 2006 at 10:19 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.