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Today, Cranky Middle Manager Wayne Turmel speaks to Diana McLain Smith about her book, “Divide or Conquer- How Great Teams Turn Conflict Into Strength”.

Show Notes

0:00 Greetings and welcome to episode 148. Today we’re talking conflict and teams, so the show is dedicated to Agamemnon and Achilles. (This link is to Diana’s site and she did the hard work here, not me).

Are you a winner or a whiner? How people perceive your behavior can cost your team everything…..

2:27 The quote of the week is fro Johann Kaspar Lavater- would it kill you to let someone talk without trying to look so smart??? Hey, you get my lessons too, gang.

Don’t forget our webinar on June 26th. Find out more here…..

3:58 Welcome Diana McLain Smith. Human dynamics can get weird, and when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. Teams just get weird. Everyone from Dilbert to Drucker can tell you that. Why is another question. Is it too much to just ask people to act rationally? (Yes, is the answer)

7:29 We look at Steve Jobs and John Scully in the early days of Apple. On paper, a great relationship. IN reality, a car wreck. We have idealistic ideas of how relationships should work, but after a while reality sets in. Strengths become “failings” and behavior is assumed to be for all kinds of bad reasons.

12:59 We discuss the term “Frame”, which is how we look at someone and all the assumptions we make about their behavior. Visionary zeal can also be volatility, attention to detail becomes micromanaging….you have to check your assumptions at the door.

16:49 Does this mean that opposites don’t attract, and you should avoid conflict on the team at all costs? Not so fast…. when people are doing a task, do we look at the behavior or at the people? And it’s an old habit…. many of us have never learned to deal with conflict.

21:15 an example of a team that makes it work and you might not expect them to- Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer at Microsoft. What are they doing right?

25:15 When people say they need to “work on the relationship”… what do they actually do? Going off and thinking does not mean obsessing about the other person but grab a pen and paper. Then ask what you’re doing that you do to set that person off?

Diana’s Resources:

West of Eden :The End of Innocence at Apple Computer

John Meacham- “Franklin and Winston”

Doris Kearns Goodwin “Team of Rivals”

Wall Street Journal article on Gates and Ballmer

Don’t let the weasels get you down!

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