The Cranky Middle Manager Show #208 Just Listen- Marc Goulston
Today Wayne Turmel gets a return visit from Dr Mark Goulston about the importance of listening skills and how to develop them. Also, a shameless plug for a webinar workshop and a quote from Igor Stravinski. Why do Americans always giggle when they hear the name Igor?
Mark Goulston makes a return visit to the show
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Show Notes
0:00 Welcome to your oasis of sanity, The Cranky Middle Manager Show. No dedication this week, just an offer for you to attend our How to Create and Manage Remote Teams webinar workshop. Register early to save money.
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3:20 The quote of the week is from Igor Stravinski... do you listen or hear? One of them is no big deal.
3:55 Welcome to Marc Goulston, author of Just Listen- The Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone. Listening skills is one of those things everyone talks about and we seldom master. It’s really about putting your agenda aside. “The purest form of listening is to listen without memory or desire”. Dang I like that one.
8:38 These skills work on large and small scales, including the FBI hostage negotiators he trains. He shows us a great way to check for understanding, even if I sometimes feel a bit patronized.
13:39 It’s hard to put aside our own agendas when listening but the impact is huge. He gives us a great way to position an order so that people don’t immediately push back. Science shows us you can’t argue someone into changing their mind… it’s that darned mirror neuron receptor deficit. Check out this article in the Huffington Post. He tells a great story at that point.
20:30 The ability to clearly analyze the situation and respond appropriately in the moment takes courage. You can do what you need to do, though. People don’t like being lumped with people exhibiting the same behavior. Maybe it’s not that they’re lazy or stupid, they might need training or just more hours in a day.
23:56 How do you re-start a relationship with someone who doesn’t think you’re a good listener? How do you let someone know you’re really trying to change your ways? It helps if you have an event that shakes you up. He brings up Marshall Goldsmith and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. (You can hear that interview here)
Marc’s Resources
