The Cranky Middle Manager Show #312 The Future of the MBA Ken Starkey
The Cranky Middle Manager Show #249 It’s Not Just Who You Know Tommy Spaulding
Posted on 12. Aug, 2010 by Wayne in General, Podcast
Today Wayne Turmel returns from vacation to talk to Tommy Spaulding about creating lasting, positive relationships. Tommy’s name first came up when we were talking to Steve Farber and he plays a prominent role in Steve’s book, Greater Than Yourself. Tommy’s book, “It’s Not Just Who You Know- Transform your life and your organization by turning colleagues and contacts into lasting, genuine relationships.” Whew. Oh and we talk about the census and a quote from Johnson…because it’s been at least a couple of weeks.
Tommy Spaulding talks to us about making lifelong connections and how it’s NOT networking…well it kind of is. He’ll explain.
2 new webinar workshops this month!
How to Create and Manage Remote Teams August 27th
Web Presentation Basics- for those who have to present online and want to learn how not to suck at it on August 23 and 26th
If you have questions about these workshops, group discounts or any Greatwebmeetings.com training program, contact me.
Don’t forget the Connected Manager Blog on BNET. 3 Posts a week on managing remote teams and staying connected.
Show Notes
0:00 Welcome to the show. I’m back from vacation but just as cranky as ever. Today we’re talking networking, or at least taking count of the people around you and what they mean to you…and vice versa. That got me thinking about censuses, and that got me thinking about Hesham Abdel Malek ben Marwan, who in 600 AD started taking stock of people around him.
3:00 The quote of the week is from Samuel Johnson. Is it better to seek people out or accept those who come to you? Tommy might have something to say about this quote….
4:00 Welcome Tommy Spaulding. He first came to my attention in Steve’s book “Greater Than Yourself”. (hear the full interview with Steve here). Tommy’s story is proof that connections and human relationships are more important than technical skills.
6:11 What’s wrong with what we normally think of as “networking”. Tommy thinks it’s a curse word, which might be a bit strong, but it’s primarily about helping ourselves. That’s a limited view of how to create true relationships. he prefers “netgiving” which is a bit of a semantic twist but I’ll go with it. Much like The Go-Giver by Bob Burg (and you can hear that interview here too). Of course if you’re looking for books, it’s really “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie that got him started on this path.
10:25 There are levels of relationships- “5 Floors” as Tommy calls them. Level one is purely transactional. Level 2 you might share a little personal information (NSW- News Sports Weather) conversations. Level 3 is exposing a bit of yourself to the person and Levels 4 and 5 are very open and candid. It’s a little counterintuitive but work with him.
14:00 As he does in the book, Tommy shares an example of building a level 4 or 5 relationship. It’s all about working with and for other people without thinking of yourself first that it all comes together. The term Tommy uses is “relationship captial” which i’m not comfortable with but this whole conversation kinds weirds me out so there you have it.
21:02 Tommy gives us some practical tips, one of which he calls, “Pardon me while I talk to your wife…” which is all about including the spouses and others when you’re working with someone. Ignore the people around your folks at your peril.
24:50 More tips: on the back of everyone’s business card that you get, write something that came up during the conversation so you have something about them that will help you connect.
27:15
Tommy’s Resources